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Welcome back, my dear tribe of warriors and champions! Today, I'm unpacking a concept — a phenomenon, if you will — that may not be familiar to everyone, but is, unfortunately, a daily reality for many neurodivergent individuals. I'm talking about 'masking.' Wear a mask long enough, and it becomes second nature to keep it on, right? But what happens when the mask begins to become a part of who we are? Heavy stuff, I know, but hang in there with me. It's an important conversation.

Masking, my dears, is not to be mistaken for that moisturizing avocado face mask you occasionally indulge in on Sundays. '(Oh, how I wish it were that luxurious!). It refers to the behavior where individuals, particularly those who are neurodivergent, hide their true thoughts, emotions, or mental health challenges to conform to societal expectations. That’s right, it’s like constantly playing a role, putting on a performance to blend into the societal scene. Problem with this performance? It's fucking exhausting.

Why so, you ask? Because it’s not just about changing a set of clothes to fit into different roles, it requires a lot more from the person wearing the mask. It involves significant cognitive and emotional effort to monitor and adjust behaviors to fit a ‘norm’ that, honestly, is a construct. We're talking about constant caution, continuous modulation, and the need to transform into a chameleon. But, at what price?

The Mental Toll of Masking

Conforming to behavioural norms might help a neurodivergent individual blend in at first glance. But that chameleon act? It saps you, loves, and it saps you deep, leading to increased stress levels and draining mental energy. Think about it: monitoring every move, every word, every expression, every day, every social interaction — it's like living your life on a relentless treadmill, and that gets exhausting on all fronts.

That's not all. The persistent focus on mirroring ‘appropriate’ behavior tends to hijack your mental resources, leaving you mentally regimented and fatigued. In essence, there's a perpetual state of heightened stress because you're constantly undertaking behavioral gymnastics to ensure you don't step out of line. We're talking ‘rock and a hard place’ scenario here.

Let’s dive even deeper. This continuous ‘masquerade’ can take a toll not only on the individual’s mental energy but also on their overall well-being. Excessive stress can manifest physically through chronic ailments like heart disease, high blood pressure, and weakened immune systems. My dears, those aren't worries any of us need.

Masking as a Coping Mechanism

But, why go through all this trouble, you might wonder? The bitter truth is that many neurodivergent individuals resort to masking out of a desperate need to blend in, to avoid standing out, and to dodge the stigma attached to being 'different.' Ah, the societal pressure to act 'normal,' a twisted minefield if there ever was one. But here's the thing: all this pressure is not only unfair but fundamentally flawed. Because what is 'normal' anyway?

While societal pressures might be well-intentioned at times (a topic worthy of another blog entry!), it is crucial to understand that it's these very pressures that perpetuate the act of masking. And, sadly, neurodivergent individuals bear the brunt of societies' skewed expectations (a family weekend before the neighborhood, anyone?).

Negative Outcomes of Masking

Now, let's look at the fallout. Ask any skilled actor, and they'll tell you, staying in character for too long might start to feel like losing parts of yourself. With masking, it's pretty similar. You wear a mask for so long, you might forget what it feels like to be 'you.' That leads us to one negative outcome: a loss of identity.

But, it does not stop there. Masking constantly can also trigger burdensome anxiety, making social situations even more complex and difficult. We're back to that relentless treadmill, aren't we? And, you guessed it, this makes it harder for people to see the need for support or diagnosis because, to them, the neurodivergent individual looks like they're keeping up. It's an exhausting circle.

Another roadblock? Struggles with self-acceptance . That's right, wearing the mask could lead someone to question their worth or legitimacy, feeling like an impostor in their skin. Does the phrase "looking at oneself through the critical eyes of society" ring any bells? And let's not forget the bane of superficial connections and lingering feelings of invalidation because masking technically prevents genuine interactions.

Perspectives from Research

Friends, this isn't me just ranting (though you know how passionate I get!). Look into these articles “What is Masking? | Charlie Health" , "Understanding Masking and Autistic Burnout" and "Masking Is Life: Experiences of Masking in Autistic and Nonautistic Adults" that are echoed by research. They illustrate not only the existence and prevalence of masking but also its detrimental effects on neurodivergent individuals.

Coping Strategies and Support

Now, to the all-important question: How to go about unmasking? A good starting point is acknowledging that you, or someone you know, might be masking. Then, it's all about learning to express yourself authentically and advocating for acceptance — easier said than done, but believe me, it's worth it.

Developing healthier coping strategies is absolutely essential. It's okay to seek help, professional or otherwise. Communities can play a significant role here, in offering support and understanding, so reach out!

Promotion of Inclusive Environments

And now, drum roll please, onto the holy grail: an inclusive environment. That's right, creating an atmosphere that accepts, accommodates and celebrates neurodivergence can do wonders in easing the pressure to mask. It’s all about embracing differences and doing away with the confinements of ‘normal.’ Let’s make the world a home for every brain, one that doesn’t need masks!

Masking, just like motherhood and ADHD, is a daunting journey that several individuals embark on. But, just like anything else, nailing that perfect blend of understanding, acceptance, and authenticity can make all the difference. So, let's turn those daunting masks into comforting blankets, one word of understanding at a time!

And, remember dear tribe, we’re in this together - here’s to helping, healing, and togetherness, one day at a time!