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Alright, ladies, have you ever found yourself standing in the middle of the kitchen, frantically searching for your keys that are actually right where you left them, or - ahem - in the hand you're using to search for them? Ever gone blank when asked about the movie you and your bestie supposedly watched together? Or have you caught yourself nodding along during a conversation, but you're actually contemplating whether unicorns would prefer cannabis or cotton candy? If you've experienced any of these situations, and if you're like me, you might be part of the "Fabulous Women with ADHD" club.
Before we dive in, let's acknowledge that a Woman With ADHD has pretty much everything. We have humor; we have spontaneity; we have intensely passionate conversations; and let's not forget our fractured attention that makes us excellent multi-taskers. But sometimes...well, often, things tend to get hard and complicated when ADHD likes to interfere with our social lives. And that's what we'll be chatting about today: our dear 'ol friend ADHD and its impact on women's friendships.
Understanding ADHD and Its Impact on Women's Friendships
At its core, ADHD is a condition that affects our executive functioning. And when your executive functions are like a wild roller coaster, maintaining balance in friendships feels like pulling off a Cirque du Soleil act. For those of you who think friendships are natural and instinctive – well, kudos to you! But for those of us dealing with ADHD, there are so many things happening behind the scenes that can influence the quality of our friendships.
The Wild Consequences of ADHD on Women's Friendships
Let's start with the first main culprit: forgetfulness. We're not talking about the average, "Oops, I forgot where I put my sunglasses" kind of forgetfulness. Instead, we're dealing with the notorious "Sorry I missed your birthday... and anniversary... and baby shower" level of forgetfulness. (1) It's like our brains have a limit on how many reminders they can handle, and more often than not, social commitments are the first to be pushed out.
Next up, we have impulsiveness - Hollywood's favorite characteristic to assign to its ADHD characters. It's because of us that the phrase "zero to a hundred real quick" exists. We tend to go all in, whether that means oversharing about our love for cannabis-infused coffee or our obsession with woolly socks in summer. It can lead to us overwhelming our friends and alienating others unintentionally. Getting that balance just right is a constant work in progress.
There's also inattention - a downside of us being decorated multi-taskers. We're like computer tabs - always open and processing. Sometimes, we forget to click on the right tab at the right time, and we end up "spacing out". Yes, that's why we might come across as aloof or uninterested, but trust me, it's just our brains working on too much at once.
But it doesn't end there, ladies. We're also often expected to be social superheroes, but our ability to read social cues can be as unpredictable as Netflix's movie suggestions. This can make it tough to communicate effectively and form solid connections. (2)
And let's not forget the added layer of pressure - societal expectations. As women, we're expected to conform, to fit in neatly in the social mosaic. But when our less attention-focused, more energetic selves come to the fore, we end up feeling like mismatched puzzle pieces. This can give rise to anxiety and seeds of self-doubt, often leading us to avoid social situations altogether.
Strategies to Navigate ADHD Challenges in Friendships for Women
Okay, so apparently, we're complicated, puzzling, and a bundle of fireworks - no news there. So, what do we do about it? Here are some tried-and-tested strategies that might help:
Our forgotten hero, technology, can be a real sweetheart. It can help us overcome forgetfulness and boost our communication efforts. Set reminders for the important dates and send out those "thinking about you" texts. Don't just save it for birthdays and anniversaries - daily check-ins can go a long way in making our friends feel valued. (3)
Communication is key in any relationship, and it’s no different for us. Talk about ADHD - let's normalize discussing our challenges, what helps, and what doesn't. It's important to foster friendships with people who understand and embrace our ADHD selves authentically.
Knowing our triggers can be a game-changer, so let's make a list, ladies. Some of us might become more hyperactive when hungry, others might get irritated when tired. Tackling this depends on tweaking our social interactions a bit and incorporating healthy strategies like taking necessary breaks. (4)
Probably one of the most crucial aspects to remember - loving ourselves for who we are. We need to remind ourselves that having ADHD is not a flaw; it's just one part of the enigma that is us. Let's embrace our differences, be kind to ourselves, and replace guilt and fear with acceptance and love. (5)
The Unique Experience of Each Person with ADHD
Remember, as women with ADHD, our experiences are as unique as our thumbprints. There's no one-size-fits-all when it comes to how ADHD affects our friendships. It’s always essential to approach this discussion with sensitivity and understanding.
To wrap it up, ADHD can be a bit of a party crasher when it comes to our friendships. Still, with a little understanding, a generous amount of self-love, and the right strategies, we can make our friendships thrive.
And just like us, those friendships might not look like the picture-perfect ones we see on Instagram or Facebook. They'll be real, genuine and unique - just like us.
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